Although all meaningful relationships are karmic, some connections are especially close, comfortable, and companionable. The author and theologian Thomas Moore describes a soul mate as “someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life.”
You and your soul mate share many interests. You understand each other in a deep, almost intuitive way. You are compatible on every level. There is a strong bond of love between you, and you are always there for each other. You nourish, support, and strengthen each other. You may not see one another for long periods of time, yet when you get together it’s as if you’ve never been apart. People with whom we experience these types of relationships are our soul mates.
Your soul mate doesn’t have to be your spouse or lover—that’s a common misconception. In fact, your soul mate will often be a good friend in this life, with whom you have experienced just about every conceivable relationship in past lives. For the most part, these relationships will have been positive, supportive, and growth-inspiring. Your soul mate can be of the same or opposite sex, a family member, spouse, business partner, teacher, or neighbor.
This is one of the important distinctions between soul mates and the sort of intense, passionate, “love-at-first-sight” relationship that is sometimes mistaken for the real thing. Such overwhelmingly powerful emotional/sexual attractions are more likely to be the result of what psychiatrist C. G. Jung called “projection,” that is, unconsciously recognizing an unfulfilled part of yourself in another person.
That’s not to say there can’t be passion between soul mates, for indeed there can be. But relationships based on instant physical attraction, although most certainly karmic, don’t usually fall into the soul mate category—unless the other conditions and qualities exist as well.
Another misconception is that you can only have one soul mate. Actually, you probably have a number of them. Some of your soul mates may be alive now, others may currently be in a non-physical state. Soul mate connections aren’t exclusive or jealous. Your relationship with one soul mate doesn’t interfere with or diminish your relationship with another, for you always want the best for each other and may put your soul mate’s happiness before your own.
Regardless of any other type of relationship that exists between you, soul mates are friends, first and foremost. Even if you end up being lovers or spouses, your relationship probably began as one of friendship and mutual respect—and those feelings continue to be strong points between you. That is the beauty of this special relationship!